Cake Porn

.... or "What Happens When Teenage Theater Kids Phone-in a Scriptwriting Assignment"

Taken out of context, these excerpts may be the funniest thing I've read in a month.(My commentary is in green; the rest was copied directly from the script)

Jeremy: Guys! Look we cant just save this cake for a whole month, look at the cake just look at it, its telling us to eat it right away don’t you see the chocolate frosting dripping by the second, its burning up its about to explode if we don’t eat it anytime soon. (ahem, really?) IT WONT LAST A WHOLE DAY TRUST ME!!
(grandma and faith look at the cake)
Faith: (bites her lip)it does look good. <- "dripping... burning up... about to explode" and it looks good? are we still talking about a cake? because if we are that does not sound appetizing.
Grandma: so we should put it in the fridge so it don’t melt.
Jeremy: grandma I think you should have a piece
Grandma: NO no I don’t think that’s right.
Jeremy: ( cutting a piece of the cake off) now open your mouth <- dude, that's your grandmother.
Grandma: no im not taking a bite
Jeremy: plays airplane with grandma trying to put the cake in her mouth..ereemm ereem(making airplane noises )open wide. <- and by cake you mean....?
(Grandma covers her moth and nods her head)
Jeremy:(making baby noises) aww the baby wants to eat aww the baby wants some chocolate cake
(grandma nods her head)
Jeremy: plays knock knock
(Grandma says nothing)
Jeremy: you know this is the part when your supposed to say whos there.
(Grandma nods her head with her hand on her mouth)
Faith: Oo ill say it <- Faith is his sister. I'm pretty sure what they sound like they're doing is illegal in most states.
(Jeremy turns to faith)
Jeremy: knock knock
Faith: whos there
Jeremy: chocolate cake that wants to go in your tummy(sings tummy)
Faith: oww (faith grabs the spoon and puts the the cake in her mouth) yummy that was tasty.
Jeremy: see grandma did that look so hard
Grandma: alright, alright you guys can go eat it only because jessicas very sick
(Grandma faith and Jeremy split the cake in half, and at the end of the day not even crums are left)

........

Jessica: (boyfriend Nathen comes over) Hey babe.
Nathen: Hey honey (walks to the living room)
Nathen: Hey honey what are you cooking that smells like rotton hot dogs with musterd. <- "cake" smells like rotten hot dogs with mustard? hmmm interesting.
Jessica: (face turns serious) I was making a cake.
Nathen: Dude what are you  making a cake for, there’s nothing special coming up, and besides if your gonna make a cake you should actually know how to bake one.(Nathen starts to laugh at what he said.) <- especially when you're making rotten hot dog cake.


.........

Jeremy: hey Jessica did my cake come 
Jessica: yes it did come I put it in the fridge you wanna see it it looks really pretty.
Jeremy: yea , can you bring it cover here for me im kinda busy here.
Jessica: yes ofcourse Birthday boy, you sit right there and ill get the cake for you. <- (+ previous 3 lines) Jeremy and Jessica are also siblings... fun times all around in this house.
Jessica gets the cake from the fridge and brings it back to jeremys room
Jessica: look
Jeremy: dam isn’t that a sexy cake <- and you're SURE you're talking about food?
Jessica: very
They both just stare and look at the cake for awhile
Jessica: ok well im put it back in the fridge before it melts
Jeremy: ok thanks
Jessica is walking out of his room and half way out the room Jessica drops the cake flat on the the floor (crack)
Jeremy turns his head around and looks at the floor with a shocking face.
Jessica: turns around with a smile on her face and says opps
THE END!
...........


Pure gold without the slightest bit of effort. Now for some "Ice Cream" to go with that "cake":